on synthesis
A lot of information is coming at me from different angles.
First, it's the email. These days, it seems that 8 out of 10 messages (somehow, not 4 out of 5, since they only seem to arrive in batches of 10 or more) offer the opportunity to get involved in something or other. The other 2 are comprised of either an FYI of some sort or a reminder of something I probably didn't need to be reminded of because I put everything in Outlook.
Then, there's other people in general, especially in the hallway conversations. Standing at the computer terminal, or sitting in the library minding my own business, and somehow end up talking with somebody about something interesting. I randomly got a Modeling tutor yesterday because I was lamenting the dearth of tutors to the guy standing in the next kiosk.
OK, next comes Coursework. Assignments show up in course materials, schedule, wherever is handy. I searched for review sessions the other day, finally gave up, then contacted the TA only to be directed back to a place I thought I had looked in Coursework. aaarrggh.
Last, but not least, there're the effing syllabi. They all have different formats, emphasize different things, and are wont to be more dissertation than summary of the class.
So, today, while I'm supposed to be working on reading the Eli Lilly case for D&D, or doing my Econ that's due tomorrow, too, instead I finally gave up on trying to keep it all in my head or just consulting 6 syllabi each day. So I'm shunning people all this afternoon, I'm trying to figure things out, and I've spent the last 2+ hours making a work plan. Others have done it, which is how I got inspired. Of course, their formats weren't as deluxe as mine, so I had to make my own. I'm almost done.
The good news: Soon, I'll be able to look at the whole rest of the Autumn Quarter on one page. What joy to be able to plan out my life around my work with ease!
The other news: Soon, I'll be able to look at the whole rest of the Autumn Quarter on one page. That means that I will realize that I don't have time for Board Fellows or any other neat thing I wanted to sign up for. Loose before, the shackles of academics will become just barely moveable tight. Somehow, I had convinced myself that it could be done, and I would do it. Now, I'm thinking, what the--? I went to Student Life today, and heard myself saying that I was going to have too few extracurriculars. Me? No job and no extracurriculars? Apart from threeish existing commitments I made before I started school, I'll have nothing until next quarter.
I must say, though, having a lot to do does make me honest about what's important since I kinda need to cut away everything else. I am so tempted to throw caution to the wind and sign up for Board Fellows anyway. Like I said, I'm almost done, but not quite, and looking at my workplan and realizing that somehow it will all get done is akin to that feeling I get when I stare directly at the sun: my eyes hurt and I can't look directly at it, but I feel kinda powerful. Standard wisdom might caution against trying doing it at all because it could cause permanent damage.
So this is what I signed up for. And agonized about. And wrote about and revised my writing about. I keep asking people who have been through it how bad will it get before it gets better. And they laugh at me. They all laugh at me. And then they reminisce about the good parts. And when I remind them about my question and ask it again, some finally admit to not knowing quite how bad it gets, but knowing for sure that it will get much much worse.
I'm not going to the Halloween Party. There, I said it aloud and that alone makes it so.
I will probably still apply to Board Fellows, but only to the orgs I'm really passionate about. How's that for a compromise? There really is something fascinating about looking directly at the sun. just can't resist. This school wouldn't be a consistently amazing experience if people threw up their hands and cried to the moon. So I'll miss FOAM, and the Halloween Party, and House, and Study Trips, and maybe also being in a WIM group, and being a Siebel Scholar, and part of a Career Team, and a few business plan competitions, and a few parties here and there, some lectures, Admissions Advisory Council, and a few hours of overrated sleep...
First, it's the email. These days, it seems that 8 out of 10 messages (somehow, not 4 out of 5, since they only seem to arrive in batches of 10 or more) offer the opportunity to get involved in something or other. The other 2 are comprised of either an FYI of some sort or a reminder of something I probably didn't need to be reminded of because I put everything in Outlook.
Then, there's other people in general, especially in the hallway conversations. Standing at the computer terminal, or sitting in the library minding my own business, and somehow end up talking with somebody about something interesting. I randomly got a Modeling tutor yesterday because I was lamenting the dearth of tutors to the guy standing in the next kiosk.
OK, next comes Coursework. Assignments show up in course materials, schedule, wherever is handy. I searched for review sessions the other day, finally gave up, then contacted the TA only to be directed back to a place I thought I had looked in Coursework. aaarrggh.
Last, but not least, there're the effing syllabi. They all have different formats, emphasize different things, and are wont to be more dissertation than summary of the class.
So, today, while I'm supposed to be working on reading the Eli Lilly case for D&D, or doing my Econ that's due tomorrow, too, instead I finally gave up on trying to keep it all in my head or just consulting 6 syllabi each day. So I'm shunning people all this afternoon, I'm trying to figure things out, and I've spent the last 2+ hours making a work plan. Others have done it, which is how I got inspired. Of course, their formats weren't as deluxe as mine, so I had to make my own. I'm almost done.
The good news: Soon, I'll be able to look at the whole rest of the Autumn Quarter on one page. What joy to be able to plan out my life around my work with ease!
The other news: Soon, I'll be able to look at the whole rest of the Autumn Quarter on one page. That means that I will realize that I don't have time for Board Fellows or any other neat thing I wanted to sign up for. Loose before, the shackles of academics will become just barely moveable tight. Somehow, I had convinced myself that it could be done, and I would do it. Now, I'm thinking, what the--? I went to Student Life today, and heard myself saying that I was going to have too few extracurriculars. Me? No job and no extracurriculars? Apart from threeish existing commitments I made before I started school, I'll have nothing until next quarter.
I must say, though, having a lot to do does make me honest about what's important since I kinda need to cut away everything else. I am so tempted to throw caution to the wind and sign up for Board Fellows anyway. Like I said, I'm almost done, but not quite, and looking at my workplan and realizing that somehow it will all get done is akin to that feeling I get when I stare directly at the sun: my eyes hurt and I can't look directly at it, but I feel kinda powerful. Standard wisdom might caution against trying doing it at all because it could cause permanent damage.
So this is what I signed up for. And agonized about. And wrote about and revised my writing about. I keep asking people who have been through it how bad will it get before it gets better. And they laugh at me. They all laugh at me. And then they reminisce about the good parts. And when I remind them about my question and ask it again, some finally admit to not knowing quite how bad it gets, but knowing for sure that it will get much much worse.
I'm not going to the Halloween Party. There, I said it aloud and that alone makes it so.
I will probably still apply to Board Fellows, but only to the orgs I'm really passionate about. How's that for a compromise? There really is something fascinating about looking directly at the sun. just can't resist. This school wouldn't be a consistently amazing experience if people threw up their hands and cried to the moon. So I'll miss FOAM, and the Halloween Party, and House, and Study Trips, and maybe also being in a WIM group, and being a Siebel Scholar, and part of a Career Team, and a few business plan competitions, and a few parties here and there, some lectures, Admissions Advisory Council, and a few hours of overrated sleep...
posted by tiy at 7:01 PM
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