I'm all in
It's weird. I finally made up my mind this week, but have been putting off sending the notice to the school I'm declining. It's like it's hard for me to let go the part of me that still wants to go there and maybe I secretly believe I can attend them both. Maybe I'm mourning the image I had of myself bustling about Chicagoland, wind on my face.
So I guess that means I should've pushed all my chips to the middle of the table and stood up like they do on televised poker tournaments. But I found myself lurking on the forums, talking to people who remain hunched over the green felt and are still very much in the game. Some seem to be wearing shades so that you can't see the truth in their eyes, while others--though their chips appear to be down--are energized by the challenge and seem intent to win the very next hand and walk away with the whole pot. Unlike poker, at the end of the day, it's not winner take all. But it is how you play your hand. Which is, I guess, why it's become a spectator sport: and, to extend the metaphor, why I still lurk on the forums on a daily basis. I'm a sidelined old veteran in less than a year, and a spectator to boot.
Although I will probably continue to hang around the forums, at least I can say that it's done.
The deposit has been sent to Stanford, and I finally let the Kellogg daydream go.
I was all in and out of the game a while ago, but I guess I am just now getting my butt up from the table.
So I guess that means I should've pushed all my chips to the middle of the table and stood up like they do on televised poker tournaments. But I found myself lurking on the forums, talking to people who remain hunched over the green felt and are still very much in the game. Some seem to be wearing shades so that you can't see the truth in their eyes, while others--though their chips appear to be down--are energized by the challenge and seem intent to win the very next hand and walk away with the whole pot. Unlike poker, at the end of the day, it's not winner take all. But it is how you play your hand. Which is, I guess, why it's become a spectator sport: and, to extend the metaphor, why I still lurk on the forums on a daily basis. I'm a sidelined old veteran in less than a year, and a spectator to boot.
Although I will probably continue to hang around the forums, at least I can say that it's done.
The deposit has been sent to Stanford, and I finally let the Kellogg daydream go.
I was all in and out of the game a while ago, but I guess I am just now getting my butt up from the table.
posted by tiy at 7:09 PM
3 Comments:
I'm sure you made the right choice. It was just difficult from this side of your blog to know your reasoning as far as what each school would provide vs where you wanted to go in life.
Reading over my blog, I can see why! I've been busy thinking about it, then explaining it to myself, my family, and a friend of mine, and I haven't captured some of the reasoning here like I should. I'll try to do a better job of explaining.
Tiy,
Congratulations on your decision!! I'm sure it wasn't easy, but I'm THRILLED to know that you'll be one of my classmates in the fall. Take care and see you soon!!
Shaquita
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