reserving the right

Why is it that Stanford seems to like to reserve its right to rescind my offer of admission? I can say that it likes to do this because I've gotten, not one but, TWO notices reminding me that it can. The first time was back in 1995--I still have the letter. It said, we notice that you appear to have senioritis, and it's messing up our numbers. We don't appreciate the fact that you've turned into a total slacker. Knock it off, or we'll rescind our offer of admission.

My guidance counselor was pissed--how dare they! And to one of her students? I had to talk her down and make her put down the letterhead. She was ready to rumble. To take it outside. The truth was, I hadn't been slacking off (well, at least not any more than any of my friends). After I got my first admit, I did start traveling with a pack of cards in my back pocket. But I was still working pretty darn hard--even taking some risks with my academics and going outside of my comfort zone. Hence the B- that sent up the flag. But I kept that letter.

I received the second one just recently. We're routinely verifying your application. We don't think you're a con, but if we find anything adverse, you got some 'xplainin' to do, and quickly, too. And if we're not satisfied, we want you to remember that we reserve the right to rescind our offer of admission.

I wonder why the University thinks I need this particular reminder again. How many times do they have to remind us not to lie? It made me feel guilty, and all along I thought I was innocent. But I double-checked my AY application to be sure. I hope I'm right.

finally got it together

So I finally got my act together with my recommender/champion/supporter gifts--so many wonderful people to appreciate. I dropped the first package off today, a few are boxed up and ready to drop at the post office, and the others are suited up for personal delivery. I even prepped the husband's gifts, since his recommender thank you's coincide with mine. Much like finalizing my list of recommenders, choosing gifts for them was a challenge. I surfed the internet to find good ideas. Found some, then realized that I didn't have $90 to spend on each one to get the pear-in-a-bottle brandy I had never tasted. Nor could I afford an engraved Space Pen for each one.

My recommenders seem not to be interested in frills. Perhaps that's why we get along so well. One of them, though he denies it, caused me to coin the term "sentiment felt, and appreciated." Some years ago when we worked together, the office gave him a birthday card. He graciously thanked the person who handed it to him and read the comments aloud in her presence, pausing here and there to smile. Then, after the gift-giver turned the cubicle corner, he tossed it in the recycling bin. I gasped -- how could you throw away a greeting card? He shrugged at me. Eh, it was nice, but if I take it home, it'll just take up space and clutter my apartment. The important thing is that I appreciated the gift and the thought behind it. Now that I have, why keep the card?

It made so much sense to me: sentiment felt, and appreciated. Since then, I've endeavored to give consumable, palm-offable, or regiftable gifts. When I was in college, I started to fly home for Christmas almost every year, and it was then that I began to give small gifts so that they'd fit in my luggage. I admit, on rare occasions, I can't resist buying a big son-of-a-gun. One holiday season, I fell in love with one of those globes made of precious stones from CostCo. I couldn't really afford it, and the box was huge and unwieldy. My parents loved it. But that's the exception these days and not the rule.

So I give gifts with regifting and sharing with friends in mind. Sometimes I use really nice containers so that they can use the gift and then reuse the container. And when I receive cards, I evaluate them critically to see if there are any interesting parts that I can cut out and use to make new cards. Or phrases I can crib. I used to get frustrated with my husband because he used to drag me with him to the grocery store to spend more than half an hour searching for the right birthday/mother's day/father's day/wedding/anniversary card. Now I stock up on blank note cards, trinkets, stickers, and interesting images from cards I've received and make my own. I keep a few new baby gifts and bottles of gourmet olive oil and wine on hand in case of emergencies. And I've found that I really enjoy giving gifts now. I used to enjoy just wrapping them nicely, but now I embrace the whole process--the theme, the card with a heartfelt personal sentiment, and the thoughtful and appropriate gift packaged with care.

So for something so momentous as my recommender gifts, I had to think long and hard. I thought about what I like, and what they are like; the looks on their faces when they opened the packages. I looked to my gift cabinet for wrapping inspiration. I found the perfect note card. I thought about the theme: thank you. OK, I needed something more than that. Thank you very much..? I sought the wisdom of trusted advisors -- and finally got a fantastic idea. It wasn't my idea. But I love it, and who said I had to come up with all of the good ideas myself?

The gifts are prepped and ready to go, and they will be out the door by the end of this week! Only then will I be free to start my pre-term assignment.